Flow When You Show

“Bob was a builder. He was about 3’6” tall and weighed 68.37 pounds. He had brown hair but he always wore a yellow construction helmet. He had beady black eyes and a thin smile. He always wore a tool belt and blue overalls. He also always wore a plaid shirt.”

How’s that for a description? It has some pretty good details, right? Ok, I’ll admit it. That was a baited question. When asked to give more description in a paper, this is what most students will do. While the details are great, descriptions like this present a few problems:

• They usually overuse pronouns
• They break up action in a paper
• They sound like they are meeting a requirement
  

Let’s look at pronoun use in our example. Every sentence, besides the first one, starts with the pronoun “he.” Repeatedly using pronouns, or anything else for that matter, in a paragraph makes for a very choppy read. It makes it difficult for the reader to get into a rhythm. This monotony is one reason why the previously described style of writing is not the best.

Another thing that these descriptions do is that they break up action. For example, all the information in the sample description is good information. However, it comes all at once. Besides being choppy on its own, it hinders the flow of the paper. Assuming that the rest of a paper flows, a chunk of choppy, descriptive text can trash the paper.

A requirement list is like a list of ingredients, giving the essentials of what is needed to complete a paper (or recipe). Let’s say that the given paper requires a description. This is one ingredient. Imagine that someone took all the ingredients for a cake, individually baked them, and then mixed them all together. That would make for a disgusting cake. Just like a cake is more than just a random mixture of ingredients, a paper is more that just a compilation of required elements. A chunk of description in a paper is like a chunk of salt in a cake.

So what is a better way? Keeping with the cake analogy, mix up the ingredients before you bake them. Spread your descriptions throughout the paper, mixing them with action. Tell how Bob pushed his yellow helmet back as he wiped the sweat from his plastic brow. Tell how his plaid shirt ripped on a nail while he was reaching for a tool on his belt.

Description is to show, but when you show, make it flow.

whacked assignment… or opportunity to excel

“He just dreams up writing nightmares,” is a comment that I honestly hope students in my classes never utter.

When drafting and developing a writing assignment for students in my gen-ed and honors classes, I take a step back and ask myself 2 questions: (a) Would I want to do this if I were one of my students? And (b) Does the assignment relate practically to student realities and course content?

As an undergrad and a graduate student, my best writing involved assignments that were engaging (some topic I could wrap my head around) and related to my major/specialty areas (social sciences in general and sociology in particular). Sadly, some of those assignments were little more than busy work and seemingly poorly conceived. Those indeed required creative writing! I promised myself that if ever in the position of directing or facilitating student writing, the effort and product would be worth not only the student’s time and effort in its production, but also my time and effort to read it -- in short, making it a learning opportunity and experience for both of us: writer and reader!

Okay, so what if you have one of those dreaded whacked writing assignments?

1. Be certain you got it right. Often, assignments are based on readings, lecture notes, class discussions, or outside materials.
2. Ask for clarification from the prof. They are getting paid to impart knowledge, not befuddle. Make them earn their money!
3. If the expectation is still murky, “make it your own.” Draft what you think is asked for. Ask the prof (or teaching assistant, who is the likely grader anyway) to see if you are on track. At the very least, it will show that you not only care about the assignment but are also proactive about your grade. Don’t be afraid to shatter the prof’s notion that you are just another one of those students who attempts to manage only minimal work in the hope of a maximum grade.

These 3 common sense steps (in order of increasing recourse) ought to help take you out of the nebulous cloud of an ambiguous writing assignment and provide the opportunity to polish your writing skill, pull an optimal grade, and impress a prof with your motivation to excel.